2013 was such an exciting year for us at Flashstarts. As the year comes to a close today, we feel it is only fitting to predict some of the coming year’s adventures.
1. President Obama, in an effort to reduce the national debt, announces National Acronym Sale (NAS) Day. Apple purchases the FDA and immediately approves the iPhone as an embeddable medical device. Amazon purchases the USPS and adds twice daily delivery service after its efforts to acquire the USAF were rejected on national security grounds. Google acquires the NSA. No further information is released. Ever. CNBC acquires the SEC and announces the new Shark Tank Channel.
2. Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson wins re-election in a landslide 63-27. Fox News mistakenly announces the results as percentages.
3. The number of U.S. millionaires increases to a record 10 million people. Angel investing overtakes polo and yachting to become the #2 leisure activity.
4. Artificial Intelligence emerges from decades of academic research to pass the Turing test. Though not without controversy: critics claim that it was not a true AI, but rather a neural imprint of Dick Cheney. Cheney goes on to gain its first big commercial success and later win Time Magazine ‘Person of the Year’. (It humbly declines.)
5. Flashstarts Startup Accelerator enjoys a record year due to extensive coverage in Crain’s Cleveland Business.
